An old school photo from the early days at CenTex (2009). I love this photo for the many “faces” who have moved on, but left some of their selves with us. Some are still here as well.
This is an old worn out blog post from several years ago ( I think 2010), but many of you are new to CenTex so I decided to haul it out and dust it off…….mainly in honor of the folks who come into our “box” set down roots in our hearts then move on, typically taking a little of us with them when they go. The sad part is just how many have come and gone…….
Also as a reminder to set aside fear, focus on the important things and live in the moment…..these are good days.
I must apologize for bringing up the same subject…..but it has really been on my mind all too much recently.
Today, as I watch my daughter struggle to find another excuse to walk a few houses up the street, just to see her best friend one more time, I feel like my heart weighs a ton. Katlyn and Maddie have been the closest of friends for 10 of their 13 years. Not just regular friends, but as close as sisters, count the days while each other is away, animal loving, change the world together, best friends. I know she will survive, but in her world this is devastating: HER FRIEND is moving way too far away. I see her trying to hide the tears and I wonder how am I supposed to fix this. All I can think is……this sucks !
We all know of LOSS, and there will surely be more losses for her to carry. I just had no idea how much it would bother me to see her hurt so much. I DO know this is just a foreshadowing of the storms ahead. Small potatoes compared to the many, deeply personal losses we all have felt. Yet, it sure does hurt.
How does this apply to the “box” and why blog about it ? One, it is cathartic for me to share, two it serves as proof to a hypotheses I have formed: CrossFit makes us harder on the outside, but softer on the inside. This is a good thing. I am more alive when I feel more deeply. Physical pain is a badge of honor for many of us. We can no longer envision a workout that does not test us physically. Likewise, emotional pain has the same effect, it reminds us we are indeed alive. We are living as we are meant.
We also must learn to allow relationships to reach our core. Just as most of us have the desire to taste our own blood, sweat, and tears in order to feel fully alive, living and loving without reservation allows us to know who we really are. We all remember a workout that tested our mental fortitude to the core, yet we survived and are better for it. We are DIFFERENT after the physical and mental test. Looking back we would do it again. This same mental toughness now allows us to open our hearts to the risk of pain and reward of deep relationships. Testing our heart to the core, yet we are always better for it. We will be DIFFERENT.
Form friendships, let down your guard, love people without being loved in return, open yourself up to the sting of heartache, become SOFT on the inside. Care about the person struggling through the workout right beside you. It is amazing to me just how close we can become through our daily workouts. Some of the best friends I have ever known are right here in this world we call the “box”.
In the same vein, we must also allow ourselves to struggle and fail in front of others. Living fearless is born from the ability to see the truly important aspects of your life. Quite frankly, our children, our spouses, our friends, our families, and the short time we have to share with them, outshines any pastime we pursue. Knowing this allows us to “dive in” without the misperceived and often, much too heavy expectations of others. Expect much of your self, but not in the hopes of impressing, or pleasing others.
I sincerely hope Maddie will be able to see her way through this, she will have more heartaches. So, I pray she will not be hardened by them but softened I hope she can LIVE FEARLESS. Not just physically, or spiritually but emotionally as well.
I also hope we can all learn to let down our guard and let in the folks who have been placed in our lives. Serve others, love the unlovable, do amazing things, fail at workouts, get your heart smashed, enjoy true love, do an Open WOD in front of a bunch of crazy CrossFit athletes in spite of your fears, trust in the love of your friends, feel a little pain when one of our CenTex friends moves away….. LOVE AND LIVE FEARLESS
- I count each of you as a gift – Rich